Bandai Choi
Clinical Psychologist (Australia & Hong Kong)
Board-approved supervisor
Agree with your manager which messages need immediate attention, when routine messages will be answered, and how urgent matters should reach the person responsible. If a message simply says “Can you look at this?”, start with: “Is this for my information, or do you need something done tonight?” A clear deadline gives you something concrete to plan around.
A Hong Kong work group may include managers, colleagues and clients. The time a message arrives does not tell you when the work is due. The table and scripts below can help you discuss an arrangement everyone can understand.
Key points
- Establish whether a message is an update, an action request or a task with a deadline.
- Agree routine reply times, on-call periods and urgent contact arrangements separately.
- Give requests a date, time and clear deliverable instead of just saying “as soon as possible”.
- Discuss workload and priorities when after-hours tasks keep increasing.
Find out when the work is actually needed
A notification may leave you wondering whether a slow reply will look uncooperative. When a team has never discussed response times, people can end up working to different assumptions.
A three-day diary study of 498 full-time US employees found an association between after-hours work technology use and difficulty mentally disengaging from work. Organisational expectations of after-hours availability also mattered.[2] Hong Kong’s Labour Department includes clear responsibilities, suitable rest time and better communication among organisational approaches to work stress.[1]
Bring the discussion back to specific decisions: when is the task due, who is on call, and what should move if it needs doing tonight? For daytime meetings, sensory demands or last-minute assignments, see practical workplace boundary requests.
Use three columns to agree what happens next
Start with one recurring type of message. The arrangements below are proposals to discuss with your manager. Add any existing on-call or emergency-response responsibilities to the same table.
| Message type | What to clarify | An arrangement to propose |
|---|---|---|
| Update or information | Does anyone need to reply or act? | Check routine updates during the next working period; label messages that need action. |
| Task with a deadline | What is needed, and by when? | For example: three key points by Tuesday at 10 am. |
| Urgent matter during on-call hours | What counts as urgent, and who is responsible? | Use an agreed contact method and the rostered person, rather than an unclear group message. |
Separate acknowledging a message from completing its task. If someone needs confirmation that you have taken responsibility, state when you will pick it up and what you will do next. “Received” alone leaves those questions open.
Words you can adapt
Assertive communication involves expressing your needs clearly and directly while respecting the other person.[3] These scripts give you a starting point.
When the request is vague
“Is this for my information, or does it need action tonight? If it is needed tonight, which part do you need and by what time?”
When you want to agree routine reply times
“Could we clarify the after-hours messaging arrangement? I suggest checking routine updates during my next working period. Could tasks with deadlines include the date and time? How should urgent matters reach us?”
When a new task conflicts with existing work
“If I work on this tonight, tomorrow morning’s report will need to move. Which would you like me to prioritise, and when can the other task be due?”
This makes the decision about competing work visible. If saying no tends to leave you feeling guilty, write down both deadlines before the conversation so you can refer to the actual work.
When you need to confirm when work will start and finish
“I’ll start at 9 am tomorrow and send you the three key points by 10 am. Would that timing work?”
Separating the start time from the completion time tells the other person when you plan to pick up the task and deliver it.
Write down the agreement and check what happens
After the conversation, send a brief summary: “As discussed, I’ll check routine updates during my next working period. Please include a deadline for time-sensitive work, and phone the rostered colleague for urgent on-call matters.” Include only what you actually agreed.
Choose a manageable trial period, such as the next working week. Note which messages remain unclear, whether anyone struggles to find the person on call, and how much extra work arrives after hours. Managers can label messages “for information” or “action needed” and include deadlines, reducing the need for recipients to interpret every message.
If last-minute urgent work continues, bring dates, requests, existing deadlines and time required to the next discussion. Ask about staffing or priorities. That addresses the workload alongside the notifications.
If ongoing work stress is affecting your sleep, mood or daily life, a GP or psychologist can help you explore the sources of pressure and possible next steps.
Practical tips
- Bring one actual work request to the discussion. Keep the relevant work details and identify the unclear deadline or responsibility.
- Leave yourself a next action before finishing. For example, “Open the report tomorrow and add the three figures.” Put unfinished work on your task list.
- Set notifications around the confirmed arrangement. Separate the agreed urgent channel from routine groups, and check that urgent contacts can reach the person responsible.
- Set a review date. After a week, for example, discuss what is still unclear and what needs changing.
Related reading
- Setting boundaries at work when autistic traits make demands harder: requests about daytime tasks, meetings and workload.
- Feeling guilty after saying no: noticing what happens before you agree and after you decline.
- Sunday-night work dread: making sense of recurring worries before returning to work.
Common questions
Does a message from my manager at night mean I must reply immediately?
Clarify the request, team arrangements and any on-call responsibilities. Ask: “Do you need a reply tonight, or can I pick this up during my next working period?” If it happens often, agree a general approach rather than guessing each evening.
How can I raise this when colleagues reply straight away?
Start with coordination: “Could we clarify which situations need an immediate reply so I don’t miss something genuinely urgent?” Ask your manager to explain the shared expectations, then discuss your response times.
Would this help someone you know?
Share practical wording for clarifying work requests.
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https://breathe-n-smile.com/hong-kong-after-hours-work-whatsapp-boundaries/
Breathe-n-Smile Psychology
Support with work stress that follows you home.
In person in Footscray and Essendon North
Telehealth in Australia and Hong Kong
English, Cantonese or Mandarin
References
- Labour Department, Hong Kong (2015). Work and Stress. Occupational Safety and Health Branch. Official leaflet.
- Chen, A., Conroy, S. A., & Crain, T. L. (2024). Identifying forms of after-hours information communication technology use and their role in psychological detachment: An episodic approach. Human Resource Management, 63, 919–937. https://doi.org/10.1002/hrm.22240. Author manuscript.
- Centre for Clinical Interventions (2019). Assertiveness. Government of Western Australia. Official resource.