Bandai Choi
Clinical Psychologist | Board-approved supervisor
Breathe-n-Smile Psychology, Essendon North, Footscray and telehealth across Australia
Can EMDR move at a pace that leaves room for preparation, questions and choice? Yes. EMDR can include time to understand what is happening, discuss consent and practise ways to stay within a manageable level of distress. The timing and focus depend on the person, their goals, current circumstances and the therapy plan.
TL;DR
- Preparation may come before trauma-memory processing, including discussion of goals, current responses, support needs and coping strategies.
- You can ask questions, request a pause or slow the pace, and discuss how much detail you want to share.
- Readiness does not mean feeling completely calm. It means there is enough stability, support and shared understanding to approach the work carefully.
- EMDR is one possible therapy approach. A psychologist can discuss whether it fits your concerns and what other support may be useful.
What happens before trauma processing?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is a trauma-focused psychological therapy used in the treatment of PTSD.[1] During EMDR, a person may bring parts of a trauma memory to mind while also paying attention to bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping or alternating sounds.
Before memory processing begins, therapy may focus on understanding what brings you to treatment, what you hope will change, and what currently helps you manage difficult moments. You and your psychologist can also discuss consent, possible triggers, support needs and ways to pause. These conversations are not a test that you must pass before therapy can continue. They help shape a plan that fits the person in front of the psychologist.
Preparation may include
- clarifying therapy goals and what you want help with;
- noticing current triggers, body responses and coping patterns;
- practising grounding or stabilisation strategies where useful; and
- agreeing how to signal that you need to pause or slow down.
How is pacing reviewed?
Some psychologists use an early preparation phase. How long it lasts, and whether EMDR is appropriate, depends on the person’s presentation, goals and circumstances.[2] A session may involve preparation, memory processing, reviewing what has come up, or returning to stabilisation. There is no single timetable that applies to every person.
Pacing is something you can discuss throughout therapy. You might notice that a topic feels manageable one week and more difficult after a change in sleep, health, relationships or daily demands. That does not automatically mean the therapy is failing. It may be useful information for revisiting the plan, changing the focus of a session or spending more time on support.
A psychologist may ask how the work is landing, what you noticed afterwards and whether the next step still feels appropriate. You can also raise this yourself. Questions such as “Can we slow down?”, “What are we doing today?” or “Can we return to preparation?” can be part of collaborative therapy.
What do safety and choice look like?
Trauma experiences can affect a person’s sense of safety, control or choice. A trauma-informed approach takes those experiences seriously without assuming that every person needs the same process. It makes room to explain what is happening, check consent and consider the context around the therapy.
Some EMDR approaches do not require a detailed verbal retelling of every aspect of a memory. Different psychologists may describe their approach differently, so it is reasonable to ask what a session may involve and how you can communicate discomfort or uncertainty.
Choice can be practical. It may include choosing where to sit, keeping your eyes open, asking for a different form of bilateral stimulation, taking a break, changing the target, or deciding that more preparation is needed. These options depend on the clinician’s approach and the circumstances, but discussing them can make the process clearer.
Readiness is not the same as having no anxiety. It is more useful to consider whether there is enough stability, support and shared understanding to approach the work carefully, with a plan for what to do if the experience becomes too intense.
A few practical tips
- Ask what the first session is likely to involve and what preparation may happen before memory processing.
- Tell your psychologist how you would prefer to signal a pause, such as saying it aloud or using a hand signal.
- Notice what helps you feel more settled before and after appointments, without treating one strategy as a requirement.
- If the pace or focus no longer feels right, raise that early so the plan can be reviewed together.
You may also be interested in
- EMDR therapy appointments and service information in Melbourne for practical information about availability, locations and telehealth.
- Trauma-informed therapy in Melbourne for a broader explanation of safety, collaboration and pacing in therapy.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to talk about every detail of my trauma in EMDR?
Some EMDR approaches do not require a detailed verbal retelling of every aspect of a memory. Ask your psychologist what their approach involves and discuss the level of detail together.
What if EMDR feels too intense?
You can tell your psychologist, ask to pause or slow down, and return to grounding or preparation. The pace and focus of therapy can be reviewed together.
What happens before trauma processing starts?
Before trauma processing starts, therapy may focus on assessment, understanding trauma responses, grounding strategies and readiness.
Do I need to feel completely calm before EMDR?
No. Readiness does not mean feeling no anxiety. It means there is enough stability, support and shared understanding to approach the work carefully.
Want to understand EMDR appointments?
For availability, locations, telehealth and a brief administrative enquiry, visit the EMDR therapy service information page. Please avoid including sensitive clinical information in an ordinary website message.
References
- National Center for PTSD. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) for PTSD. View the resource.
- Phoenix Australia. Australian Guidelines for the Prevention and Treatment of Acute Stress Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Complex PTSD. View the guidelines.
General information only. It does not replace individual psychological or medical advice.